“It’s not your circumstances that shape you, it’s how you react to your circumstances.” – Anne Ortund
What to expect in a Couples Session
I use Dr. Sue Johnson’s emotionally focused therapy model that highlights the importance of attachment. Extensive research provides empirical data to support the theory that adults need to feel securely attached and safe in their primary relationships. This is a biological need as well as a psychological one. If we have a secure base with our loved ones we are able to venture out in the world as calm, fulfilled and confident individuals.
When we become entrenched in negative patterns of relating however, we have the same fights over and over, and we sink in despair of ever getting through to our significant other. Distress and exhaustion set in as a negative cycle of relating dominates. Often the negative cycle is demonstrated in blame and counter blame.
I help you learn your respective steps in contributing to the negativity and slow the process down enough to help you discover what emotions are underneath the anger / frustration that drive you.
Typically these are the ‘softer feelings’ – perhaps fears, hurts and shame. These emotions are more difficult to access and express and they usually are the drivers in a conflict.
Dealing with affairs and recovering from the horrible pain of betrayal is an example of a relational issue that EFT works well with. It is painful work and usually well worth the effort for both sides.
You will experience less distress, feel closer emotionally and know that your partner has your back. Trust deepens and so does the experience of safety and security in your relationship. Your connection and attachment needs are met and solidified.
To learn more about my approach or to schedule your appointment, you can contact me by phone or email.